Dog meet: 2014

Wednesday, 24 December 2014

Bah Humbug Bloody Christmas!

Bah humbug bloody Christmas madness - still best wishes for all those out on the Common, Have a good one...

Thursday, 4 December 2014

PUPPIES ! ! !

Photo by John Beckett

The beautiful 'Katie Custard' gave birth to

7 little puppies

at 8 AM on Friday 29th November 2014

Monty Sunshine is the 'dog father'

one of the little squeekers has been named 'Sweep'

("as it sounds like 'Sweep' in Sooty & Sweep")

All of the little darlings appear to be doing well...

and (at this stage) appear to have Black and Tan markings -

although one has a White front and another a White bottom.

Updates will follow...

k9 crimewave merchandise

Poppy PC bag

detail of print

Pugg unplugged PC bag

'the Pug at the bar' PC bag

Buzz mug-shot PC bag

Detail of Buzz mug-shot

Monty bag

Barney bag

Stop following me bag

Detail - stop following me...

more Canine Crimewave merchandise is available HERE

Friday, 21 November 2014

Monty is missing Katie

During our 'Indian Summer', Monty and Katie have had a bit of a 'thing'.

Now, Monty is missing Katie...

They had had such good times together...

and it is now certain that Monty will become

Due date is the second week in December and the puppies will be available 8-10 weeks after their birth date. Both parents are so calm and gentle these are likely to be wonderful puppies.

Watch this blog for puppy progress.

Style is important in our fashion obsessed world and here at Canine Crimewave we thought we would jump on the Christmas bandwagon and try and flog you some stuff we've slung together to part you from your hard earned cash.

First up are these stylish pooping dog lamps. Artist made and made to order so we cannot guarantee quality or delivery times, but we still genuinely believe that they would be a talking point in your living room.

Available in small and big sizes, with turd effect light switch, these will let your friends know that you are a modern animal lover - how can you possibly live without one?

Canine crime wave have produced these minimally mod food bowls for all you unhappy hipsters that feel that your dog needs to understand that 'less is more'.

More logos available or personalize your dog dish with one of your own.

At great trouble to ourselves we have managed to secure our 'Canine Crimewave' exclusively designed school bags that could seriously embarrass your child.

Made from thin nylon with 'fiddly' plastic clasps and printed top flap that protects the bag from the rain these have got to be a good 'stocking filler'.

We also offer these cheap 'Doggie Style' vinyl stickers that look much better in the photo than they do in reality. Stick them on stuff, then wish you hadn't. Perfect for Christmas.

Canine Crimewave do not offer a returns policy. Feel free to try and negotiate a bulk order.

Thursday, 20 November 2014

The Pug at the bar (2)

   The Pug at the bar is fatter than the last report as he was requisitioned as an Apple Pie Judge on the last 'Bent Arms bake off'. “Life is tough for some” and stuffed with apple pie entries the Pug had to cast votes to criteria set by the excellent Bent Chef.

     Competition was clearly tough as the Winner, David, claimed to have based his dish on an an internet recipe and cooked his first attempt at making an Apple pie the morning of the competition. Second Place entry, Ursula, complained that, “the pastry took him hours and I couldn't get in the kitchen”.

    Once again, all potential chefs and others who just fancy their cooking skills should nose on over to 'The Bent Arms' on Lindfield High Street for the 4pm 'Cook Off ' on the last Sunday of every month. Contestants are asked to make one dish at home and bring it in – so your secrets are safe as long as you don't wander the bar telling everyone.

                              The next contest - Sunday 30/11/2014

                      : 'make a savoury dish of your choice that involves dumplings'.

– A challenge picked by Jo - whose oven was not really big enough to accommodate an Apple pie (but she did try).

                                       Come in out of the rain and join us in the warm.
                                 Bring your dog, taste the entries or enter your own dish.

FREE to enter ~ FREE to taste

                                                                 Win the Trophy!

                                              Get your name on 'The Bent Rolling Pin'

                                                                          or

                                            as last place pick the next 'Cook Off'' dish...

   So, keep warm and dry, nibble free nosh with new friends and

                     come join us in the Bent on Sunday.

                                                  “I prefer it to getting married”

                           said George Clooney look-a-like sitting on his own in the corner.

    The Bent Arms is a dog friendly pub, but “dogs are not allowed in the restaurant”,
which is precisely where they want to go. . .

The things that touch us

“Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if I can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun . . .”

― Groucho Marx

“They say that dogs are like their owners, part of their personality,” I joke as my dog nuzzles his nose up the skirt of an attractive guest. In truth, I am a little worried by that idea.
I had offered to drive a woman I had just met home. She was unaware that my dog sat in the darkness of the back seat and as we moved quickly through the night, he leaned forward and with no other sound, licked the back of her ear. I heard her catch her breath and then she stopped talking and became silent. A nervous uncertainty filled the interior of the car and it was obvious that she thought that I was behind the misdemeanor. Was she more amazed at the thought that I might attempt such an indiscretion, or the idea that I was able to do so while driving at speed?
“It was my dog,” I said to clarify the situation.
“Oh,” she replied, then said nothing more.
For all our cleverness, we are often unaware of the things that touch us.

Saturday, 25 October 2014

A word from our sponsor

Experience our new luxurious organic skincare collection that harnesses the sumptuous vitamin-rich goodness of pure 'Dog Stench'®. Try our renowned eau de toilet – that closely resembles the smell of celebrities everywhere.

A 'must have' for beach or boardroom and guaranteed to get you noticed.

Cultivated in green spaces and the most elusive botanical gardens of the world, 'Dog Stench'® produces a pure aromatic experience that is organic, nourishing and respects the true physiognomy of true beauty.

'Dog Stench'® is the fashion statement for you.

Also try 'Dog Stench'® organic face cream – a silky, luxurious, greasy elixir that promotes cell growth – now with secret ingredient : 'DOG ESSENCE'®. Perfect for all skin types.

London ~ Paris ~ Lindfield

"The scent that lingers"

'Dog Stench'® is produced by Skanky Beauty Products Inc. All our products are the products of animals. Use within 'safe limits' and all our products should probably be avoided by expectant mothers and those of a nervous disposition. Not for internal consumption. May produce unwanted side effects.